Smiles Around the World: Not in Kansas Anymore

You know you are not in Kansas anymore when…

The children greet their elders by lifting the elder’s hand to their forehead
People do the sign of the cross when they pass churches. I think it just has more to do with the crazy driving.
There are signs asking you to please wear your seatbelts. If any existed I would!
You see seven people on a moped
You can ride on top or hanging off of the multi cab (which is my favorite way to go, but they don’t always let me because of the liability and I think it is a sign of respect. The men always let the ladies sit in the multi cab first.)
The multi cab will back down my road just to pick me up
Bus windows are made of wood
There are no car seats
Someone tells me it is better to kill someone if you hit them than have to pay for the hospital bill. I definitely look both ways three times before crossing the street.
People just burp midsentence and keep going
You can sit at a table at a restaurant for hours without anyone bothering you
The drinks come out after the food
The more you buy the more expensive it is. The thought is that it creates more work.
There are no garbage cans so people throw their garbage anywhere.
There are no stoplights so you just play chicken in the middle of the intersection
On a work outing the driver will go out his way to let someone drop off mail, drop off a package at a friend’s house, or even pick up someone’s significant other
The multi cab gases up with us in it
People request a stop 10 feet after the last person. Yep, on those 100 degree days I have totally done it.
No one talks in the multi cab even though they are all friends and neighbors
You never hear a cell phone ring
There are lady boys (men dressed like women) all over
The guy who just cut your pineapple goes behind his cart to pee
There are stray dogs everywhere. They need Bob Barker.
It is more desirable to be heavy than fit because it shows you are well fed
You have to check your bag at the door of Gaisanos because shoplifting is such a problem
Shirts dated from 1988 and Umbros are still going strong
No one blows their noses unless it is farmer style
The groom’s family pays for the wedding
A nurse’s salary is 6,000 pesos a month which is equivalent to about $120 US dollars, a factory worker makes $9 a day but has to move away from their family and live in a dorm, a tricycle driver makes about $5 a day, and the people in the fields make about a $1 a day
A woman will leave her husband and daughter for two years straight to work in Kuwait for $360 a month. This is the story of one of the guys I work with, Joel.
The HBC staff get 15 vacation days, 15 sick days, and as many domestic days as needed which include taking days off for you or your spouse’s birthday or if you had an argument the night before
I can eat like a queen for $3
A hamburger at McDonald’s is $.75
Hotels advertise your own bathroom and 24 hour electricity
A cottage on the beach is $25 a night
An orange is 5 pesos (about $.10), a pineapple is 20 pesos, a mango is 30 pesos, siopao is 40 pesos, and BBQ chicken and rice is 70 pesos
When you can buy 30 movies on a single disk for less than $2
People can’t afford to buy an entire bottle of shampoo, laundry detergent, pack of cigarettes, or entire bag of candy so everything is sold in individual portions
You can’t find sunscreen without whitening cream. White skin is considered attractive in the Philippines. I am guessing it is related to social status (e.g. wealthier people don’t have to work in the fields), but I haven’t been able to confirm that.
You don’t have to pay child support
There are a lot of Filipino Americans walking around with no fathers because the American father never followed through on the promise of marriage